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GOAL SETTING

goal set

Talk About Stressful

This article was originally published in www.womensnetworkaustralia.com.au

Working Women Magazine Issue Winter-Spring 2017

For years we have all followed the traditional model for setting goals. But for some women it simply just doesn’t work. In this article CELINE HEALY explains why.

Expectations can be a happiness killer!

Have you ever had an epiphany and decided this is the year you will finally, once and for all, set those goals AND this year you will actually achieve them?

Have you ever wondered why, in previous years, you haven’t achieved your goals?

Stress is the basis of all failure.

Evidence indicates that as soon as you set an expectation, a goal, a desire or a wish that is external to your control, you place yourself in a continuous circle of chronic stress.

This sounds sacrilegious! Surely this cannot be true! If so, it would mean that what you have been doing forever is now called into question.

If you have attended any courses, seminars or ‘success type program’, you’ll know that a standard blueprint goal-setting formula is used. It usually included:

  1. Deciding what you want to achieve
  2. Working out a plan to achieve this goal and adjust accordingly, and
  3. Taking action.

It sounds logical and in fact, most people have been following this blueprint since 1937 when ‘Think and Grow Rich’ came on the scene. It seems plausible and it sounds simple.

But what is really happening here?

If you are coming from a position of stress you need to exert enormous willpower to achieve your goals. Goal setting is going against your subconscious which has been charged with the task of trying to protect you and keep you safe since your arrival on this planet. It tries to keep you where you are because it feels safe.

The issue is what do you have control over when you set a goal? The only thing you have real control over is how you feel.

You generally ask yourself:

  • What do I want to achieve right now?
  • How will this change my life for the better?
  • How will it make me feel when I achieve this goal?

At the same time you ask yourself these questions:

  • When I think of this goal what do I fear will happen?
  • How will my life be worse off if I do not achieve this goal? and
  • How will I feel if I don’t achieve this goal?

Goal setting always involves a conscious and subconscious weighting up process. If the positives outweigh the negatives, we generally decide to go for it.

The problem is that goal setting tries to move you from where you are now to a more preferred position. It needs a conscious effort and requires willpower. The other issue is that the subconscious, which has been charged with keeping you safe, is at least a million times more powerful than your conscious mind and it will actively try to keep you where you are now. And the reason for that is all of the beliefs, emotions and patterns of behaviour that you have built up over the years which govern how you view the world. These issues are the basis of your stress and can keep you from being successful.

So, what is the solution to the dilemma of goal setting?

  • Firstly, only set a goal once and then let go of focussing on the end result and whether or not you actually achieve it.
  • Reprogramming your conscious and subconscious to deal with the hidden underlying issues which are the real cause of your stress.

Next, your only job is to work towards your goal in small steps.

How you do that is by breaking your day into half hour units and completing tasks with appreciation and gratitude. This retrains your conscious and subconscious and helps you move to a more positive state of mind.

Remember, you only have control over how you feel! If you continue doing what you have always done you will get the same results!

Spread the love

357 thoughts on “GOAL SETTING”

  1. Mery Castle

    For me the extres do not prevail so much to fulfill the goals, if not the fear of failure, it is what does not allow us to move forward, if I agree that a step by step must be made or a habit that already becomes constipation must be created and it becomes necessary to do it every day.

  2. Setting goals is one way to build self-motivation that is commonly used to achieve success for everyone. That way, individuals and teams can work to achieve success by having clear targets.

    1. Sure. A goal is a target which gives direction.
      If a team does not have a target, a common end result, then their efforts will be inefficient and unproductive.

  3. Wilson Jake

    Goals setting can be so easy but accomplishment is the hardest part. One needs consistency and faith for success of the set goals. Also we should be realistic with the goals we set. Great piece

    1. Being realistic is one of the keys. However, you need to change habits. That is the hard part. However, if you take tings one step at a time then you will achieve some modicum of success. Then you might be motivated to do more.

  4. Oyeyipo Oladele

    Success in Life is easy to achieve if we all try as much as possible to always visit and comply with the guides as contained in the leadership and cooperate wellness website. Evidence indicates that as soon as you set an expectation, you place yourself in a continuous circle of chronic stress. Thanks for this post.

    1. Yes. Expectation is a stress inducer. That is why it is always better to start small and easy and simple. Ask yourself: what is the one small thing I cool do today that I could achieve movement toward my goal?

  5. Happiness is free and sweet if you know what it takes. Feels happiness when accomplishment comes. Goals realised brings internal happiness

    1. Happiness is the overall goal. However, for me I prefer to achieve contentment, with my life, what I Iam doing and what I am aiming for. Happiness can be dependent on others external things or people or an event happening. Whereas, contentment is self-derived.

  6. Obalade Damilola

    Goals have been something that kept me going..thinking of how to achieve my goals has me persistently making my head throb,giving me sleepless nights and having me toss and turn in bed..I’m glad i have a solution, all thanks to the tips outlined in your write up..if their is one thing I gained,it’s the fact that when i set goals,I should not focus on the end result and I will take baby steps in achieving my goals

  7. Meldred Judith

    Happiness is something that we must all have. Happiness is always a choice.

    1. Happiness is a choice. However, because most people operate from a negative world view, they will never achieve that elusive state. Go for contentment with your life instead.

  8. I don’t live my expectations of any kind. In fact I live a day at a time and go by whatever life got to offer. The best bet is making the best out of any situation and it works for me all the time.

  9. Achieving Success in Life requires a very deliberate step and willpower. Thanks for bringing such a fresh new perspective on how to set goals.

    1. Glad you liked my article on goal setting. yes. it takes effort and simple steps that the individual can take, not someone else’s advice.

  10. I think societal Expectations sometimes put too much pressure on us. It can be such a big impediment to achieving our goals.

    1. Yes. Because there are so many courses to do and lots of people achieving success of some kind the interesting fact that is not expressed is that: only between 3-4% of people actually achieve their goals. So, the testimonials are from that small percentage. My aim is to help more of the 96-97% move to the successful category.

  11. I like the idea of taking small steps to eventually achieve one’s Goals. I will be applying this to my life 🙂

  12. Your approach to Goals setting is very sensible. The traditional way doesn’t cut it anymore today.

    1. Thx. it was all form trail and error and seeing that only between 3- 4 % of people actually achieve goals. This meant that there was something intrinsically wrong with traditional advice.

  13. I agree that Stress plays a huge role in keeping us from achieving our goals. Sheer willpower is necessary to be able to push ourselves out of our comfort zones.

    1. Yes. Stress is behind all failure. However, if you try to use excessive willpower you will also eventually fail. You have to implement small strategies to change habits, not willpower.

  14. In order to achieve Success in Life, we must find ways of dealing with stress. The tips laid out here are very helpful and I can’t thank you enough for sharing.

  15. Sometimes putting aside Expectations can help a lot when pursuing your goals. All you need to do is take it one milestone at a time.

    1. Yes. Take one milestone at a tome. However, make sure that it is so small that you can achieve it easily. Then celebrate. Then do it again.

  16. Nothing is as satisfying as being able to achieve your set Goals. Thanks for the useful guide on how to set and successfully achieve goals.

  17. I have always had a problem with Goals setting. Thanks to your write up I now know how to go about it!

  18. Happiness and fulfillment can be attained when one is able to achieve and even exceed their goals. This article therefore in a way also shows us how to attain true happiness.

  19. The first step to successfully achieving your set goals is dealing with Stress. As pointed out in the write up, stress is one of the reasons we rarely achieve our set goals.

  20. You can certainly see your enthusiasm within the paintings you write. The world hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. At all times follow your heart.

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